The Drenzek Family Adventures: August 2009

One of the other nice things about the birth center is that you get to go home as early as 4 hours after birth! Some think this is crazy, but many second time moms tell me they would have loved to get out of the hospital earlier. We stayed at the birth center for about 16 hours, because we wanted to make sure that Kyla's bilirubin levels stayed down and we didn't have any repeat issues like Arden's situation after birth. With scheduled pediatrician visits the next day and home visits for mom in two days, we had the green light to get home and start settling in! Yay! I had already missed Arden and was eager to see her and get to know Kyla.

The next couple days were filled with lots of napping- well at least on Kyla's part! Visits from family & friends, and some serious sister snuggling. Arden is totally enamored with her little sister and asks to "hold her in boppy" all the time. She's started trying to give her kisses and teaching her what she calls "om hands" in prayer position. So cute. I think she's slowly learning that "baby Kyla" is going to be here for good and she's ok with that.

The birth of our second daughter was truly amazing. Especially with the very long labor that I endured with Arden, and then the resulting very dramatic change in our birth plan from what I had hoped for, I was a little apprehensive of how things would unfold the second time around.

The only part that I would change was the two nights of false labor that I had leading up to the birth. Both Wednesday and Thursday nights, I had woken up with contractions. Nothing too painful, but enough to need to breathe through them and keep me awake. They were not regular or consistent so after several calls to the birth center and SEVERAL hot baths and showers, still nothing was happening. Thank goodness for my mom coming up early to a) take my mind off it, and b) help occupy Arden. I was at the point that I just wanted to either get a good night's rest without contractions or have a baby. After a long tearful walk on Friday morning with Dave- a walk that I thought would speed up the contractions, the contractions stopped. I called the birth center and asked to come in and be checked and get some advice, which they were more then willing to have me do.

I love the Women's Birth & Wellness Center in Chapel Hill. I used them for my first pregnancy, and while trying to go as a natural as possible even though I had narcotics during my 30+ hour labor and then subsequent hospital transfer, epidural, etc. the midwives at the birth center still held my hand the entire way. So it wasn't even a question in my mind to stay that route for this pregnancy and birth. The vibe there is so feminine and empowering, two qualities I feel are very important to me during pregnancy and labor.

So Dave and I went into the birth center around 9:30 am on Friday, the 14th. Sarah the midwife, checked me and said I was almost 3 cm already. Thank god all that false labor wasn't for nothing! I told Dave I would have been crushed if I wasn't dilated at all. It was then discussed what my options were. The midwife felt that she could perform an effective "sweep" which is when the sweep a finger in between your uterus and bag of water to help kick start active labor. You have to be dilated to do this. It's a natural way to get things going. Her main concern however was that it would kick start me into labor after I had had minimal sleep the past 2 nights. The decision however was all mine. Even giving me the reigns to make this decision was empowering to me. My body, my labor, on my (& my baby's ;-) terms. Again, I really wanted to get things going or get some rest. My biggest fear is that if we didn't do anything, I have another night of false labor and then be going into labor on then 3 nights minimal sleep. So I decided to go with the sweep. She did the sweep, said I was then 4 cm dilated and bound my stomach to help baby descend down into my pelvis and sent us home to wait and see.

I was having contractions right off the bat, but that was to be expected after the sweep. Also after two days of here and there contractions I kinda felt like I was used to it. So Dave and I ran some last minute errands; went to the bank, went to Target (I needed the next Twilight installment that I had started during the 2 nights of false labor), and then I accidentally dropped my blackberry in a cup of water in the car. Yes all of which during regular maybe every 15-20 minutes contractions. But a girl can't a have a baby without her blackberry, right!?! So off to the Verizon store we go to try to get a new one-meanwhile Dave is keeping an eye on my manageable contractions while I'm on the phone to the customer service people, super annoyed at myself. I mean how am I supposed to update my facebook status and let everyone know I have had a baby without my blackberry! lol

So by 1:30 pm we get back to the house where my mom is having a little difficulty getting Arden down to take a nap. Dave and I go in to settle her down and explain to her that her baby sister is coming and that Noani & Poppi would be taking care of her while that happened. I don't think she cared, as long as the words Noani & Poppi were involved.

The next couple hours at the house, the contractions got more intense and closer together. I tried to lay down and rest in between, but any mom knows that's really an oxymoron while you're in labor. Dave and my mom were great, coming in and supporting me while I rocked, or breathing with me through contractions. All of them were manageable with their support. I had learned during my first labor that contractions don't really last that long individually- maybe a minute. And I got it in my head that I could do anything for a minute. It was an excellent mindset to give myself. We were in contact with the midwife at the birth center and she again told me to take a warm bath- seriously I was the cleanest pregnant person ever. This was like my 10th bath or shower in the past three days. We found out later that they told me to take so many baths because that's the way they determine if you're in active labor. There's only so much you can do in the tub while waiting for contractions. I had already finished New Moon and shaved my legs. This time since my contractions were closer together Dave was in the bathroom with me. So he had the wonderful idea to make light of the situation and use Arden's bathtub crayons to draw on my tummy. He always can make me laugh, which was exactly what I needed at the moment.

Around 3:30 pm my contractions had gotten to be about 5-8 minutes apart which is when the birth center said to check back in with them. So we called and Sarah, the midwife asked me what I wanted to do. My gut reaction was that I wanted to go ahead and come there so as to not be more uncomfortable in the car for the 30+ min ride to Chapel Hill, or even worse, get stuck in rush hour traffic. So around 4 pm and a not too uncomfortable but by no mean pleasant car ride, we arrived at the birth center. All day I had been in contact with my close friend, and prenatal massage therapist, Lakshmi, giving her updates in the hopes that she would be able to attend the birth as well. She arrived at the birth center around 4:30. From that point forward it was awesome to have both Dave and Lakshmi there to support me through contractions. Lakshmi's presence was very reassuring to me, and it took a great deal of pressure off Dave, so that he could simply be my partner and hold my hand or let me lean on him, rather then massage my back or whatever. Again I still held the thinking that I could do anything for a minute through each contraction and especially with at least one of them there for each I could handle it.

Around 6:30 pm or so, they check me again and said that I was about 7 cm dilated. 7 cm is the beginning of the labor stage called "transition" which is supposed to be the most difficult, especially naturally. Your contractions strengthen and become a lot closer together but they're also shorter. I knew all of this from our childbirth class with Arden but it was good to be reminded by the nurse. She very calmly reminded me that with my labor with Arden this was the point that I had stalled out and transferred to a hospital for an epidural and therefore had an epidural during this stage. She reminded me that everything I may experience was normal, shakes, nausea, etc. But it's also the quickest stage of labor. Again, while I'll already had this knowledge, it was so good to hear all of this again and it therefore put my mind at ease that I could handle it. I continued to move during this phase, from the bed to the bathroom and back to the bed. I was totally inside my own head. Dave and Lakshmi continued to support me but I really don't remember what anyone said or did or anything.

Around 8pm, Sarah the midwife came in the room and simply said, "I think it's time for you to get in the tub now." My first thought was, "Why does she want to slow this down now!" because of all the baths I had taken up to that point! But during this phase of labor you are in no place to be making decisions or getting into arguments or even discussions. I then thought, if she thinks I need to be in the tub, then I will be. I asked if I could continue to labor on hands and knees like I was (which was comfortable at the time) in the tub. She said, "you can labor like that, but it might be difficult to deliver in that position." OH! She's talking about having my baby in a bathtub! Wow! OK time out here..... While I am not, nor never have been, opposed to water births, it also was never part of our birth plan with either pregnancy to do so. So in retrospect, for her to come in during the climax of labor and suggest it, I still think is pretty ballsy, but I also admire her for knowing her patients (me) well enough to know what would work. And now after the face, I think it's pretty cool that I ended up having a water birth. I asked Dave if he would get in the tub with me, and he said he would. I don't think he really grasped the whole ramifications of that at the time, but he was fine.

Once in the tub I was beginning to feel the urge to push. Everything we read about, or see on TV though teaches us that someone has to "check you" and give you the "green light" to start pushing. So in my mind I was waiting for someone to do that. Meanwhile Sarah was just watching me and made eye contact with me and said the most empowering thing during the whole process, "Don't be scared, do what you need to do and let's meet your little girl." That was her subtle way of saying, if you need to push, go ahead. OK- so I thought with an epidural the first go around that it didn't do much for the pushing stage of labor. I was wrong. Pushing naturally was the only stage during the whole labor that I didn't think I was going to be able to do it. I also knew obviously that I didn't have any options. I had 4 cheerleaders around me however that mentally lifted and carried me through any thoughts of self doubt and I continued to push. Kyla was delivered at 8:32 pm in the water and handled immediately to me where she cried right away- the most beautiful sound a mother can hear. She weighed 7 lbs 3 oz and was 19.5 inches long.

They were mildly concerned with my bleeding and Dave was offered a shower ;-) so we both moved out of the tub. My bleeding was under control and then we got to enjoy our new daughter, Kyla Chandra Drenzek. The name Kyla doesn't have any specific origin, we just liked it and wanted an equally unique name to match with Arden. Her middle name, Chandra, is after my yoga teacher who is one of the most influential females in my adult spiritual life. Arden's middle is after my mom, so it only seemed fitting that Kyla be given what I consider to be my spiritual mother's namesake

My parents were both now back in Raleigh, watching Arden who they had just put to sleep, so my mom drove out to Chapel Hill to meet Kyla. Lakshmi stayed for about another hour or so and then everyone left around 11. One would think after 2 nights of barely any sleep and then an entire day of gradual labor that I would have crashed. Well Dave did. I however was on complete mommy endorphins and barely slept a wink. I was able to have Kyla right next to me in bed and pretty much spent the entire night staring at her. Any new mom would completely understand. She was awake a good portion of the night staring right back at me, not fussy, just taking it all in. I knew right away that I had fallen in love with her.